Three Reasons Vin Diesel Should Host Blizzcon
I see by my calendar, my various guilds chat, and my @RokkTalk twitter feed that Blizzcon 2015 is just a few days away. I love going to Blizzcon, and I’ve been fortunate enough to attend two of them in the past. It’s a great experience where for two days you get to celebrate Blizzard gaming culture, put real faces to the virtual names you’ve spent so much time with online (and perhaps stalking), and get drunk repeatedly with other socially recluse gamer types. It’s like wrapping yourself in a warm nerd blanket for two days, and that’s quite a bit of all right if I do say so myself.
Now due to poor luck and a poorer wallet, I won’t be able to make it to Blizzcon this year. However, I am definitely hopefully optimistic that I will be making my Blizzcon return next year at Blizzcon 2016 (assuming they have a ‘con next year, and that they have it around the same time of year as Blizzcon 2015).
It’s practically right around the corner!
It’s probably a bit premature to start speculating as far as who might be hosting Blizzcon next year. Good social form suggests that at the very least, we wait for this year’s ‘con to happen before looking ahead to next year. Otherwise it comes across a little like calling dibs on your sick grandmother’s good china before she’s even passed away. It can come off as a little insensitive, is what I’m saying.
With the Warcraft movie being released next summer, there’s going to be plenty of focus on Blizzard Entertainment from the general, non-gaming world and their applicable media. The tangential hope on Blizzard’s part is that people will like the movie, then want to check out the game that the movie is based on. Blizzcon could have quite a few more eyes on it than in previous years. Plus, depending on when they have it, they may have some big things to discuss – expansions, Overwatch, a Warcraft movie sequel.
So it would make sense for Blizzard to get a big name host for such an event. A name with some real star power behind it. A major celebrity, not just like a niche celebrity of geek culture. Outside of Felicia Day, there are only a handful of geek culture types who have both the celebrity stature and the ability not to melt down into a socially awkward pile of nerve goo while standing in front of twenty thousand screaming fans.
That’s why Blizzard needs to sign up Vin Diesel to host Blizzcon 2016.
No, I’m serious. Here’s three reasons that show just how serious.
#3. He Brings Mainstream Attention.
Thanks to the Fast & Furious franchise, Vin Diesel is a needle mover. He’s the kind of A-list celebrity that gets people’s attention no matter what he does. Unlike Kardashian types, he actually does it by working on multi-million dollar movies and earning fans, rather than, uh, whatever these Kardashian things do for attention.
Vin Diesel’s social media muscles are as impressive as his real ones (when he’s not in dad body mode). He’s got about 5 million Facebook followers, and over 12 million followers on Instagram. Compared to the social media numbers that Chris Hardwick and Wil Wheaton have, which are respectable to say the least, Vin Diesel puts up some beast numbers.
Now you take a mainstream celebrity like Vin, and you have him mention this Blizzcon thing once in a while. It’s going to reach more than just the “geek niche” ears. It’s reaching everybody. That kind of promotion is definitely something that I’m sure Blizzard would not shy away from, especially with their movie coming out in June. Blizzcon hype might not help promote the movie (unless Blizzcon hits around the same time the movie does), but the real movie money comes with the DVD sales. And if the movie launches in June, the DVD should be dropping around Blizzcon time. It couldn’t hurt to have Vin post a pic of himself holding a Special Edition Warcraft DVD to his 12 million Instagram followers.
#2. He Can Make Blizzcon Feel Badass.
One of the things that makes a good host is that they are relatable. More often than not, stereotypes exist for a reason. So when you look at guys like Wil Wheaton and Chris Hardwick, and you listen to them talk about their past, you get the feeling that “Oh they’re just like us.” They are geek culture personified, and they’re just the kind of people you expect would be hosting Blizzcon. They are a reflection of what you think of when you think “this guy plays Blizzard Games.”
Dominic Toretto. Richard B. Riddick. Xander Cage. Hell, let’s throw Groot in there too just for good measure. Vin Diesel is known for playing badass characters. Plus, acting aside, the man is built like an Orc. Sounds like one too. Having him host Blizzcon would be like giving it a badass seal of approval. It would reflect not just the geeky aspect of Blizzard entertainment, but the badass side of it – especially with the addition of IP’s like Overwatch, which are less fantasy and more “shoot people in the face”, run-and-gun style.
#1. He Has The Resume.
At first glance, Vin Diesel seems like the absolute last guy who should be hosting a video game convention. A muscle car convention, maybe. He’s an action movie star who has starred in multi-million (and damn near billion) dollar movies. He appears unrelatable to the typical WoW player. In fact, he looks like the kind of jock who would be giving swirlies to gamer geek types back in high school.
But that’s where you’re wrong. You see, Vin Diesel is one of us and has been for quite some time. Much like previous hosts Chris Hardwick and Wil Wheaton, Vin Diesel also has a foot in geek culture. He has discussed in the past, and not-so-distant past, his love of Dungeons and Dragons. Check out this video where he plays D&D with the Nerdist crew.
There’s something about watching a big dude like Vin get his flex on when he lands a critical hit. Something awesome.
Sure, so he can roll the dice. But what’s his gaming cred like? Well, the man just happens to have founded a video game development company, Tigon Studios, that makes video games based around his Riddick movie franchise or his D&D characters.
But what about WoW? Shouldn’t someone who hosts Blizzcon actually know something about the game? I’m sure Jay Mohr would disagree, and he hosted Blizzcon twice. But fear not. Unlike Jay “Did he or didn’t he?” Mohr, Vin Diesel has actually played World of Warcraft. And he did it with Paul Walker.
So yeah, I think he has the resume.
Perhaps you agree with me. Or perhaps you think I should increase my medication dosage. There’s no way I can know this. Let me know in the comments below if you think Vin Diesel might make a good Blizzcon host. If not Vin, then who?
Alpha to Omega – Wrath of the Lich King
Odingreen is way too sexy for jousting.
There was exactly zero point zero hesitation when everyone’s favorite supervillain-looking mage, Odingreen, finally dinged 68. I say “finally” as if it took a long time. It didn’t, really. But as soon as Odingreen hit 68, he ported to Stormwind, put on a parka, tore the sleeves off, got on a boat, and headed straight to Northrend. With all the snow, trees, mountains, and snow, it was like taking a ship to Canada only with fewer Tim Hortons coffee shops and fewer apologies.
Not that his time in Outland was terrible or anything. To be fair, he really wasn’t there long enough to form an opinion. He landed in Hellfire Peninsula, with its red sky, red dirt, and red pigs. So it was probably less depressing to spend more time in dungeons, which he did on the regular. Most of his Burning Crusade leveling was through dungeons, and according to Recount OG kept finding himself right in the middle of the road as far as the damage he was doing. He was never kicked from a group for having what some might consider sub-par damage, so he must’ve done a decent enough job. Then again, when the rest of the group is doing double your DPS, they’re killing things too fast to notice that you’re even there.
Was it frustrating? Kinda, but really as long as the XP kept flowing at a constant rate, then his damage output and reasons for lack thereof, was secondary. Besides, sometimes you need to bang out a few pushups between pulls. Always finish your set, regardless of how many mobs get pulled. They’ll be there when you’re done, or they won’t. But that pump is totes worth it. #ProTip
Arnold Schwarzenegger also knows a thing or two about pumping. Ask his housekeeper.
Poor Zygor got a workout during this whole ordeal as well. He had to constantly update his questing path becauses Odingreen was tearing through the the alien world faster than, well, something really fast. He’d get a handful of quests done, run a dungeon or two, then move on to a new zone because he was already bored (and had outleveled the zone). In fact, he’d just gotten the quest that took him into Blade’s Edge Mountains when he dinged 68. He blew by Nagrand entirely. Never looked at Shadowmoon Valley. Missed many ugly zones, and not so ugly. He got a good tan though, so that’s something.
It was much the same thing when Odingreen hopped off the boat in Howling Fjord. Quests were done between dungeons, and zones were skipped. He did some business in Howling Fjord, had a cup of coffee in Dragonblight, then got a flier in the mail that told him the Argent Tournament was the cat’s pyjamas and he should go there ASAP.
He flexed at the mailbox. “A tournament?” he asked. “Too easy, baby. I’m the guy who brings guns to a joust fight.”
The mailbox said nothing, being a mailbox and all.
But Odingreen wasn’t dissuaded by silence from non-sentient beings. He kissed the peak of his bicep. “Lich King better start sweating! Odingreen’s a-comin’!”
Clearly the mage was stoked. He also had some leveling tips so I thought I’d add them there.
Odingreen’s Power Pro Leveling Tips
- Don’t run Recount. “I know it’s tempting to see what kind of damage you’re doing in dungeons. But shut that shit off. Recount is an end-game addon to show where you are in the raid’s pecking order. Gear, level, there’s plenty of things that are gonna make a big difference in digits. And if you do run it, don’t link it in group. Bragging about your Recount numbers while you’re leveling doesn’t mean you’ve got a big dick. It means you ARE a big dick.”
- Use a leveling addon. “There’s free ones out there. But I’m leet, so I use Zygor’s Leveling Guide. It’s got a bunch of other built-in functions, like auto-equipping upgrades as you get them. If you’re the kind of person who likes reading quest text, or enjoys wandering around picking flowers while you’re killing twenty of something for their ears or teeth or whatever, more power to ya. But it’s like when I go to the gym – I’m not getting paid by the hour. I’m there to do work and get going. Wasting time is stupid.”
- Elixir of the Rapid Mind. “This tonic is like Viagra for your XP – it makes you uber buff for fifteen minutes. So if you’re going to take one of these, you probably want to do it when you’re in a dungeon that has a few quests in it, and a few bosses. It’s also nice to have some quests finished outside the dungeon before you drink it. Basically you want to pop this before you hand in quests. Don’t use this for grinding – that’s what spit is for.”
- Get flying ASAP. “I don’t give a swollen turd what anyone says – flying is the best. You get places faster, you don’t have to deal with zombies or crabs or whatever is between you and your quest reward. If you want to pick flowers, stay on your pony. I’ll mount up on my dragon and fly, and look damn good doing it, thank you very much.”
- Know your role. “Whether you’re using macros or facerolling, have an idea what your spells, talents and abilities do. Got a group buff? Know that shit at least so you don’t look like some kind of fool when you’re asked for it. Check out Wowhead or Icy Veins if you’re not sure. People will tolerate shitty damage, but if you don’t know your buffs, you can get bounced from a group. The moral of the story is that buff is good. I’m buff, I’m the stuff, and I’m flexing right now to show my appreciation for your attention. You can’t see it of course, but imagine it. There. Now’s it’s a gift for both of us.”
You’re welcome, Internet.
Charming. The road to Archie-Mode continues.
Happy #FlexFriday
Rokk Talk 