Rokk Talk

With the insanity that has been my week, my game time has been throttled back to a drip (like taking a leak with a swollen prostate.  Trust me ladies, it’s not fun.)  Therefore, in my quest for content I thought I’d share some emails with you.  Only you.  My dream come true.

Herculano,

What are your thoughts on Blizzard’s decision to make people post on the WoW Forums using their Real ID (real) name?

Signed,

Curious.

My thoughts?  I have two.  Thought the First is that I don’t care.  Changes to the World of Warcraft Official Forums don’t concern me at all.  I would rather play the tuba with my butthole than spend more than thirty second on the WoW Forums.  There are occasionally nuggets of useful knowledge posted on those boards, but one has to sift through a mountain of troll feces to find it.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t enjoy playing with poop.  I don’t care what you’ve heard.  You heard wrong.

I can understand why people were up in arms over it.  It wouldn’t have restricted trolls as much as it would throttle any kind of serious conversation between folks.  In my experience, people can’t handle opinions that are different from their own.  The concern was that someone would take exception to a comment someone else made, but instead of flaming them on the forums (and having those inflammatory comments forever linked to their real name), the offended party would simply track down the person in Real Life (using their Real ID name) and burn their house down.

Pwned, noob!

What was Blizzard’s stance on the issue?  Some wonderful comment about posting on the Official Forums being optional.  I completely agree. It’s not like people can’t get their facts, blue posts, and gossip from other sites anyway.  But why would Blizzard set up a policy that they know is going to drive away trolls and non-trolls alike in the first place?  It probably has less to do with monitoring the forums and more with the upcoming Facebook intigration.  Imagine the promotion power Blizzard would have if they could crack the Facebook market.  Through every Real ID drone with a Facebook account, Activision-Blizzard could reach out to their Facebook Friends.  Real ID is the gateway to more potential customers.

Wait, you say your Facebook Friends don’t know you play World of Warcraft?  Well ActiBlizz is going to out you.  We should throw a coming out party!  Mazel tov!

Thought the Second is that Blizzard CEO Mike Morhaime (or M&M – he likes it when I call him that) has now said that the Real ID Change for the Forums won’t be happening.  Phew.  Crisis averted.  You all may now return to your regularly scheduled shatting on the Forums.

Another satisfied Real ID customer.

Next!

Pleasure her like never before with a larger lovestick!

At first glance, I suspected that this was either a) spam email, or b) some kind of code referring to how chicks can’t get enough of a guy with a big Gearscore.  But come on.  This is so obviously an email about Gearscore, because we all know the bottom line is about the ePeen (or lovestick, as the emailer cleverly words it).  I wrote a post recently about how there was going to be a big gear reset once Cataclysm rolls around.  In no time flat, that reset is going to produce a bunch of big, throbbing Gearscores for the ladies (and gents, if that suits your fancy) to admire.

It’s like Gearscore, but in pill form!

Herc,

Where’s the Fury Warrior information?  You call it a Fury Warrior’s Blog but you have no Fury Warrior information.  You suck dude.

Disappointed.

My message to the author – I do not suck.  You must have me confused with your Mom.  After being with her last night, I think I should be the one calling myself Disappointed.

Like your Mom – Old, dirty, and a couple dozen people in it every night.

As far as the information goes, I am hoping to put up a Fury 101 page as soon as I can get some spare time to do so properly.  I’ll put this right out on front street – I’m not one of those theorycrafting number crunchers.  There’s folks out there who love doing that kind of stuff, so who am I to deprive them of what they love?  That would be both cruel and heartless, and I am anything but that.  For I am filled with Furious Love.

I will go out into the wilds of the Internet and bring back information that will (hopefully) prove useful to my Furious brethren, be they leveling to 80, fresh at 80, or raiding at 80.  It should be fairly accurate, but don’t get too hung up on stats and skills.  It all changes in a few months when Cataclysm comes along anyway, and since I don’t have access to the Beta (thanks Blizzard, you jerky jerkhole) I can’t comment too much on what’s coming in the next expansion.

Cataclysm spoiler – Fury Warriors will be modeled after Techno Viking.

If anyone out there has Fury Warrior information, either current or Cataclysm related, feel free to drop a link in the comment box or shoot me an email (address up top) and I’ll include it in the upcoming Fury Warrior 101 page (giving you full credit for doing the legwork, of course.  I”m good like that.)

This is Herculano.  Handling mail with my Furious Love.

There’s never a Healer around when you need one.

I wrote this post while bathing in the aftermath of last night’s UFC 116 event.  I’m all about violence, and it doesn’t get more violent than Fury Warriors, am I right?

At Blog Azeroth, ecclesiasticaldisc posed a the question to healers:

Where do you draw the line on shifting the priority of someone’s heals down (or refusing to heal them all together)?

I’ve never played a healing class to any serious degree.  If anything, I’ve made one on a Refer-A-Friend account where they were simply a heal bot for the character I was leveling at the time.  But I’ve known Healers, from casual to raiders, and the mentality I’ve seen in them goes way back before the days of WoW.  It’s also something every class should know when it comes to what is expected from their own playstyle.

Know Your Role, people.

Generally speaking, a Healer should never have to heal anyone but the Tank.  The DPS classes should know how to ride the aggro wave, balancing their balls-out damage while staying just below the point where they peel off the mob being damaged.  If they never have aggro, they should never be damaged.  Every class should have healing potions to take care of themselves if they happen to get tagged by an AOE blast, or if an add happens by and starts nibbling on their neck.  Incidental damage happens, but folks should take care of themselves first before they start screaming for the Healer to save them.  Will their DPS suffer?  Slightly.  But if you lose the Tank because the Healer is busy healing the Mage who pulled aggro, it’s a bad day for everyone.  Tanks should give someone one chance and taunt the mob off of them when they pull aggro.  If they do it again, they can tank it, and Healers should not have to waste a drop of mana trying to keep them alive.  Could this wipe the group or raid?  Possibly.  But some people can’t be told to mind their aggro.  They need to be shown the consequences of their actions.  That can be a very painful lesson.

Warrior!  For the Love of God man, TAUNT THIS APE OFF OF ME!

What about folks who stand in the fire?  Should Healers keep these potential Darwin Award winners alive?

Like people who pull aggro, players who stand in the stupid should get one mercy heal and a reminder to spend a little less time watching the damage meters and a little more time maintaining situational awareness.  Sometimes that’s easier said than done, and multiple issues come up in the heat of the moment.  Healers should not have to babysit the other classes.  With all the addons available to players, there’s no reason people should be standing in voids/fires/poop.  If someone is taking damage because they are not paying attention, any heal thrown their way it is a gift.  It should be appreciated, not expected.  Players should not feel entitled to heals because they HAVE to play sloppy and stupid just to top the damage meters.  You play sloppy and you pay for it.

Heals plz.

This is Herculano.  Respect your Healers by not playing stupid.