Being so close to completing the Meta Achievement “What A Long,  Strange Trip It’s Been“, completing the World of Warcraft Noblegarden World Event went without saying. I was kinda surprised at how quick I finished it. I started Sunday afternoon, and by Monday evening I was done. I would have been done on Sunday but I had to slap some bunny ears on elusive members of the Alliance.

It was now time for me to relax and get back to focusing on other business. I was working on Hellscream rep and tokens to get my spectral wolf mount, as well as leveling up a DK on another server. As far as Noblegarden was concerned, we were done with each other for another year.

That is, until I saw it.

What… what the Hell was that? Why was there an albino flamingo, an abomination of Nature itself, running past me?

And why the Hell was it carrying someone on its back?

The Swift Springstrider, a bird so ugly I didn’t know how someone could hold the reins and cover their eyes at the same time. Did it come with beer goggles? It looked like the kind of bird you took home from the bar on a drunken bet. One that you lost.

No. Hell no. There was no way I wanted that bird. I would rather ride a mound of kodo feces between my legs than that thing.

But, y’know, just out of curiosity I checked to see how I could get one.

Turns out there were two ways: As a rare drop from inside a Brightly Colored Egg, or by spending FIVE HUNDRED Noblegarden Chocolates at a holiday vendor.

Hmmmm.

Now I’m not going to tell you that I got the Swift Springstrider for myself. But if I did, here’s some tips that I (would have) used to help farm up the five hundred chocolates.

Macro: to get from Point A to Point B quicker, I (would have) used this macro:

/use Egg Basket
/use Brightly Colored Egg

This (would have) helped keep the haste buff up while opening the eggs and stacking the chocolates, or whatever was inside the egg.

Location:  When I was farming eggs for the Noblegarden achievements, I visited three locations: Razor Hill, Bloodhoof Village, and Falconwing Square. I managed to find a spot at each location that maximized the spawn points in a small area. Note: this is on a high pop server.

Tarou made this video which points things out much better than I could.

So there. If you’re are one of those who are so inclined to get one of these hideous birds and refuse to seek help for your obvious illness, good luck to you.

Son of a bitch.